When I first got my license my mom always said to me over
and over, “I don’t worry about you out there, I worry about the other drivers
on the road.” I always thought, Yea, yea,
yea I’ll be careful, I’m a cool 16-year-old with my license.
***
I have always wanted to coach a girl’s lacrosse team. Lacrosse is a sport I have loved since the 7th grade. I played in college and still play in a Boston league. This spring I found an opportunity to coach a middle school team that worked with my schedule – Tuesday and Thursday evening practices and Sunday games. I was psyched! Of course my schedule is already jam-packed and I didn’t know how I would take on more, but ‘tis my style. When I asked a couple of my good friends who are live-the-shit-out-of-lifers like me if I should take it on, they said, heck ya! Needless to say, I have been coaching the girls with my awesome co-coach since the beginning of April and it is SO fun and SO rewarding to see them improve. What is not so fun is being reminded how mean girls at that age can be.
It was brought to my attention that one of the girls on my
team is bullied (in school) by other girls on the team. And bullying these days
isn’t just making someone sit alone at the lunch table or not inviting them to
the mall; it’s pushing someone down the stairs or saying nasty things about
them on social media. Friggin’ crazy! I don’t know who the bullies on the team
are, but I do know who the girl being bullied is. Of course, she is wonderful –
so sweet and innocent and a true hustler on the field. Today, when we were
leaving practice this girl was walking out with another girl and my co-coach
and I asked if they carpool all the time because they live near each other. The
sweet and innocent (bully receiver) smiled and said, “Ya! And it works great
because we are best friends.” The other girl then kind of made a face where her
eyes bugged out of her head.
In that moment I just wanted to fight off the Shit Storm and
change the situation so the other girl truly believed they were best friends; but, I couldn’t. Will Sweet and Innocent most
likely grow up to be a gorgeous, successful, well-liked business woman, mom,
and whatever else she wants? Of course! But, damn does it suck she has to go
through the awkward middle school years to get there.
***
What I will come to find out when I have kids – whatever way is meant for me – is as a parent, you can’t control the Shit Storm. My mom and dad couldn’t fight off the kids that were mean to me, the sports teams I didn’t make, the major disappointments I had to endure, the deaths I had to witness, and the big ass tumor that grew in my body. They had no control over any of those things – they had no control of all the other drivers out there. What they could control was how I treated others, how I handled situations, how I attacked life…and how I drove the car. The Shit Storm that is life will always be swirling around us, but it is how we face it, power through it, embrace it, love it, feel it, cry through it, and laugh through it that makes us who we are.
