The Most Amazing Gift of All

Almost a couple of months ago now we buried my Nana – my last living grandparent. Nana (better known as Hun or Rosalie) was a petite little thing with red, red hair and a heart of gold. She loved each and every member of her family more than words could say, and was so incredibly proud of her 4 children and 11 grandchildren. Nana and Pop Pop, who she is now with, left such an amazing legacy that will live on in all of us. The funeral was really sad, but such a nice tribute to her life. My Aunt Lorri delivered one of the eulogies and she talked about how Nana was so incredibly selfless and she lived to do things for other people. Whether it was giving the mailman a pot of chicken soup, or making sure everyone had leftovers to leave with after Thanksgiving, she got such joy out of making others happy. I see this each and every day in my mom – she is her mother’s daughter, and my sister and I are my mother’s daughters. We love giving presents to other people, getting a coffee for the birthday girl at work, or sending a card of support when someone needs a pick-me-up. What better feeling is there than adding a little light to someone’s day?

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Last Wednesday I had a Dana Farber Volunteer Reception to go to after work. I had a really busy work week and was running around like a crazy person, so by the time I arrived at Dana Farber that night I was pretty much just going through the motions. I didn't really know much about the reception, just that the head of Volunteer Services asked me to say a few words as Co-Chair of the PFAC. I was anticipating a smaller reception, but when I walked in, the cafeteria was completely filled with tables, WITH WINSTON’S FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS ON THEM, YES I’M OBSESSED, and a couple hundred people. It was a celebration of the 1,000+ volunteers at Dana Farber (yes you heard me) from people that push the food carts around in the infusion suites, to people who hand out newspapers to patients, to those that sit at the concierge desk – a room full of wonderful people.

I found a seat with some fellow PFAC members and started to read through the program. There were only a few speakers, and I was one of them. Shoot, should I have planned something more rehearsed? Nah, I like speaking off the cuff. All things considered, I made a beeline for the bar to get a nice glass of wine. The night began with remarks from the heads of Volunteer Services thanking everyone in the room for what they do and emphasizing what an impact it has on patients and caretakers. During those remarks I was jotting down some notes of what I would say, granted I did think about it on my drive into the city. I was up next…so I headed up there with the Co-Chair of the Pedi PFAC who was going to speak right after me. As I got up to the microphone, I was honestly struck by the fact that all these people, in this room, volunteer their time to help people like me. I started by introducing myself as a patient and the Co-Chair of the Adult PFAC, and thanking everyone for what they do. I told them that they have no idea how far their small gestures go. I told them that as a patient one tiny little thing can throw you off course, and at the same time one tiny little thing can get you through something like Scan days. I went on to share a bit about what the PFAC does, and what we have accomplished, and hope to accomplish in the future. Then, I ended with my favorite story – the story of my first rounds experience after my first surgery when 8 people marched in at 5 a.m. and started reading my case like in Grey’s Anatomy. I added in a few jokes before I got there about how my dad was worried I thought the pain button was a toy and my mom, the nurse, said, “Don’t worry Ron, it’s regulated.” Then I explained how I interrupted the doctor delivering his Grey’s Anatomy monologue about “my case” and said woah, woah, woah, then asked them one by one who they were. I finished by saying, “Well I’m Becky.” I told this story to help everyone in the room realize that something as simple as introducing yourself can make a HUGE difference to a patient, and that’s why I do what I do volunteering on the PFAC. If I can improve just 15 seconds of another cancer patient’s day, I’ve done something huge.

After dinner, it was time for the awards. Several remarkable volunteers were recognized – and the best part, they were all the most humble human beings you can imagine. One of the honorees was the “food cart lady.” I recognized her because she was there, there for me when I was coming undone. I was by myself and had just gotten the unexpected news that my tumor had come back, and my nurse, Kerry, and the food cart lady were comforting me. Kerry was distracting me with pictures of a lavish NYC wedding she just went to and I don’t even remember what the food cart lady did or said to distract me, but it was something, something that helped just a little bit. I went up to her after the reception and told her how much she helped me that day, and gave her a huge hug. She told me that volunteering at Dana Farber has changed her life.

The next honoree got up to the podium and started with the Matthew McConaughey, Alright, Alright, Alright. I thought, Hell ya! This dude is awesome!...and awesome he was. He volunteers a couple days a week and has such an incredibly positive attitude. I met him after as well and he was so nice – he said how impressed he was by me and that my speech was so full of life. He said it inspired him to get up there and have fun, starting with his Matthew McConaughey moment. I told him that he rocked it.

The final honoree and King of the night that was awarded Volunteer of the Year and a grant to direct where he so chooses was the one and only Larry C. Larry C. sits on the Adult PFAC with me and he is the cutest old man. His legs are always crossed with his hands sitting right on top of them and he has this look as if he is in deep thought. When has a thought to share, which are indeed always wise, he raises his hand by simply holding up his right pointer finger.

Going into this night I knew that Larry had lost his wife to cancer several years ago, and he was recently diagnosed with cancer himself. I knew that he loved to camp in the winter, which we are all amazed by and think he is crazy for at the same time. And, I knew that he not only volunteers on the PFAC, but is a Clinical Floor Specialist. He has selflessly dedicated this phase of his life to Dana Farber. The head of Volunteer Services and 4 Dana Farber staff members delivered some wonderful remarks about Larry before he was invited up to the podium. As he headed up to the microphone I noticed his adorable tie with little tools on it and the boutonniere that he wore so well as the King of the night. The head of Volunteer Services and I wondered what he would say because he is just so humble. Well, he blew everyone in the room away with his grace, sincerity, selflessness, wisdom, and charm. He spoke about his relationship with Dana Farber and how it spans about 15 years, as his wife was treated there for about 10 years before she passed in 2008. While at Dana Farber, Larry never called his wife by her name, he called her Miss America – and that is what the staff came to know her as too. He loved her so dearly and after she passed and he took some time to heal, he so courageously decided to enter the next phase of his life by putting what he learned as a caretaker to use, and helping other patients. He then mentioned how he is now a patient himself. My heart broke a little bit. It is hard to put into words how I felt when Larry was speaking. People like Larry truly make this world and better place, and I can’t even imagine how proud his wife is looking down on him. But, I am sure, Miss America is not surprised because she knew what a wonderful man she had in Larry.

At the end of the night I went up to Larry to give him a hug and congratulate him. In typical Larry fashion he did not talk about himself, but complimented me on my speech. He put his hand on my arm, looked right at me and said ever so slowly and poignantly, “My friend turned to me and said, that young lady is a bright light.” Coming from him, those words meant the world to me. I could only dream of helping others as Larry has.

I left that night on a high. The power in that room was tremendous – hundreds of people gathered to celebrate how they have helped others, and I was one of them. It has brought me such happiness and joy to know that I have helped other patients and caregivers. When someone comes up to me after a speech and says that I impacted them, that is the best gift of all. I always had Nana in me, but I have found where she shines the brightest – when I am having the courage to be vulnerable and put my story out there so I can help others. I love you Rosalie Dorothy Timpano. Thank you for the most amazing gift of all – the gift of helping others.